What you can do if your married or civil partner deserts you
Desertion is almost always a painful, confusing, and stressful situation that many do not expect. You are likely wondering what you should do – we at Starck Uberoi can offer some advice and answer some of your questions.
Need family law advice? Our experienced solicitors are happy to provide you with a free initial phone consultation. For more information visit Family Law and Divorce.
How can I find out where my spouse is?
There are companies specialising in tracking and tracing that can help you locate your spouse. One avenue to consider is through the HMRC, which collects and monitors personal information primarily from individuals themselves and other government agencies. Individuals provide this data when engaging with the HMRC, such as during tax filing, applying for tax credits, or updating their records. This information encompasses details like addresses and employment information.
It’s crucial to understand that not everyone is obligated to report directly to the HMRC; only specific groups, including employed individuals, self-employed individuals, landlords, pensioners, and those with various income sources, have a legal duty to report their tax affairs. If your spouse falls into one of these categories, there’s a better chance of locating them.
The HMRC may also access information from other government databases, such as the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP). However, it’s important to note that if your spouse has informed the police not to disclose their location to you, the police must legally respect their decision and cannot provide you with that information.
When contacting the DWP, you may receive verification of information, including name, address, employment status, income, and other relevant details on record. The DWP might also directly reach out to the individual for additional information or clarification if there are uncertainties about their identity or circumstances.
Navigating the process on your own can be challenging and overwhelming. Starck Uberoi has the expertise to offer you family legal services. Our seasoned family law solicitors are ready to offer you a complimentary initial phone consultation. For additional details, please visit Family Law and Divorce .
What should I do about our children?
Following desertion, if your spouse has not taken the children with them then you may wish to apply for a ‘live with’ Child Arrangements Order. This confirms that your children live with you and names you as their sole carer, limiting the influence that your spouse can have over them should they return.
My spouse has left with our children – what can I do?
You should report the children as missing to the police and explain the circumstances. By providing contact details of your spouse and perhaps any family or friends that they are in regular contact with, the police can make enquiries and confirm with you that the children are safe.
If you believe the children are at risk in your spouse’s care, then we would advise that you contact Social Services. They too can make their own enquiries to ensure that your children are being adequately cared for. Although they cannot disclose the location of your children, they can confirm that they are safe and well or investigate further if they have any concerns.
Next, you can make an application to Court for the disclosure of your children’s whereabouts. Certain agencies such as the Department of Works and Pensions, Child Benefit Office and Education and Health Departments can be ordered to disclose the address for the children. This address will be held as ‘confidential’ by the Court but you can then make an application for a Child Arrangement Order. Your application will be sent to your spouse by the court.
If at any stage you feel that your spouse may remove the children from your care or from their nursery/school and you have concerns about their wellbeing, we can assist you in seeking a prohibited steps order to protect them.
What should I do regarding my housing and benefits?
If you are in social housing, you should inform the Local Authority that your spouse has left. If you are residing in a private rented property, then you should inform your landlord or managing agent of your spouse’s departure.
You should also inform the Department of Works & Pensions and the Local Authority of the desertion if you are in receipt of Housing/Council Tax Benefit.
If you have a mortgage and you’re worried about making repayments, there’s no need to panic. We advise that you speak to your lender as soon as possible and explain the situation to them – they may agree to give you a payment holiday or get in contact with your spouse to ensure payments are met.
What to do regarding dividing ownership of your property following desertion will depend on whether it was jointly or solely owned, as well as some other factors. Give us a call on 020 8840 6640 to discuss your options.
Can I get a divorce if I don’t know where my spouse is?
You are required to know your spouse’s contact details in order for the divorce petition to be served upon them. This is something we here at Starck Uberoi can assist you with. At the time of writing, the cost of petitioning for a divorce is £593 and you can find out more about what the process involves in our blog titled How do I get a Divorce?
Thinking about divorce proceedings at this stage may be overwhelming, but seeking legal advice early could mean that you are better prepared if you decide to petition for divorce.
What should I do if my spouse is presumed dead?
Instead of petitioning for a divorce, you can petition for a presumption of death decree by making an application to the Court. The cost of doing so is currently £528 at the time of writing and you may need to provide evidence explaining why you believe your spouse may be dead.
Our Family Law solicitors can help you collect the evidence you need and give more advice on the specifics of this process.
How will our finances be split following divorce due to desertion?
Usually, a divorcing couple would be expected to seek mediation to discuss how their finances will be divided, and can go to court if they cannot come to an agreement this way. However, if you cannot get in contact with your spouse then you may be exempt from attending mediation meetings.
Dividing finances in cases of desertion can be complicated and you will likely need to seek legal advice. Our divorce solicitors can give you some more advice on how this will work depending on your specific circumstances.
How Starck Uberoi Solicitors can help
We at Starck Uberoi have over 20 years’ experience in handling an enormous range of different family matters and understand how awful desertion can be. Our family lawyers can support you from start to finish, providing pragmatic and detailed legal advice and assistance whenever you may need it.
You can arrange a free telephone consultation with us by using our online contact form on our website or please call us on 020 8940 0485 or email solicitor@starckuberoi.co.uk. Our offices are located in Brentford, Ealing, Richmond, London Belgravia and Canterbury, all within easy reach by public transport. Our partner, Raminder Uberoi, can also provide a Notary Public Service at any of our London offices.
Read more:
Matrimonial Property Rights Notice
What is a Child Arrangement Order
Legally Changing your Child’s Name
Domestic Abuse and Legal Protection
Moving Away with a Child Following Divorce
How do I start the process of divorce?
